I’m sitting in Terminal E in the Charlotte airport as I write this. Finally, in the final leg of what was supposed to be a quick 4 hour travel but in true holiday fashion turned into 24. There’s nothing like a stay in a 2 star hotel in Philadelphia and wearing the same clothes for 24+ hours to humble you.
I won’t make this a year recap or tell you who I’m going to be in 2024.
All the love to you if that’s your way, but life has forced surrender so deeply that I prefer not to over promise.
My intention for this space is to just bring my heart, as it is.
In case you’re new to my world, here’s where my heart has been…
I bought and sold two successful Pure Barre studios before my 25th birthday.
Then worked a corporate job because I felt like I “had to” only to land in work where my heart was actually held nine months later.
I lost my best friend to cancer and I’m still struggling to learn the rhythm to life without her. (truthfully, I’m not sure I ever will)
Four years ago, I fell madly, wildly, completely in love with a man I never saw coming. We resisted it for a few months and then COVID happened and we finally let our minds surrender to what our hearts had always known.
Our love has stayed offline. My heart has always felt so convicted to protect the sacredness of us, but it is my intention to use this space as a way to let you into all the ways this man has walked my heart back home.
We love to the beat of our own drum and there is a deeper layer of freedom uncovered when you only allow the voices of the union to speak and not the world.
I learned that ignoring racism only perpetuates it so I no longer stay silent when the world speaks. I’m proud to be in love with a black man and hopefully the mama to a perfect bi-racial baby in the year to come.
I have traveled worldwide alone. Navigated new cities. Felt invigorated by the coffee, air, and freedom of new spaces. I also grieved the loss of my best friend at 42,000 feet in seat 42B as I flew across the world the day after speaking at her funeral. Touching depths within my being so profound I’m still finding the words.
I’m preparing my heart to transfer from maiden to mother, God willing, in the next calendar year and it is already cracking my heart wide open to who I want to be and the energy I desire to operate from.
I’m in the early stages of IVF and fully at the mercy of my baby far before he or she is even in my womb.
My body is softer than it once was and I’ve learned to respect the life that causes the sizes to rise and fall.
I tightened my circle.
I have a few soul sisters I would lay down my life for and I will travel far and wide to nourish them over having a surface level cup of coffee any day.
My heart has lived a lot of life in its 28 years here.
Most coin me an old soul.
Some will tell you I’m dramatic.
And others think I process things too deeply.
All I know is the convictions of my heart have profound clarity and the outside noise matters less and less with each passing year.
It is my hope if you feel any string of your heart resonate with any part of this, you’ll find it valuable as I dive deeper into what I’ve learned during all of the above.
One heart string at a time.
xx
J